Peace Be With You Gus

Gus left for the Rainbow Bridge at 5:35pm today. We love you Gus, I know you will watch over us...

Tomorrow is So Close

As we await Gus's crossing, I am twisted inside with anticipation, guilt, fear, relief, sorrow... I love him so much, and I know he is tired. So, so tired, his body is getting cooler. His system is slowing, and Gus is fading. The love is still there, oh, those beautiful, soulful eyes. Good night Gus, the pain will be over tomorrow. We all love you!!!

We think we are making the right choice...

We have set an appointment for Gus's transition to the Rainbow Bridge. We are going to double check with Jennifer, his masseuse, and Sue, his previous caregiver. For now, it is set for Monday. I told my daughter today, and she sobbed. She asked, "Since he is going to die, can he have ice cream, and destroy a basketball?" This from a 10 year old. Wow, we both were sobbing at this point and embraced. We are using Beside Still Water http://www.besidestillwater.net/ , an at home euthanasia service for the Foothills area of Colorado.

Another Massage!

Gus got another massage today. Jennifer, his person, came over today. He is always so happy to see her. He was having a rough day. Last night, he knocked over a water dish, and slipped. He had some warmth on his knee. Jennifer discovered it, and helped ease his discomfort. He still is a little "off," but as his Cancer grows, we are finding that he has bad days. We have started Gabapentin along with everything else. It makes me feel strange. Jennifer asked me how I was doing, and I told her, "As good as anyone waiting for their dog to die." It is difficult to evaluate what I mean by those words. I know I love Gus. I know I want him to be happy. I know I don't want him to suffer. Well, maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Gus did not want Jennifer to go, and laid on her, so she couldn't get up. I actually got to see her work her magic. She even gives me direction on helping him relax. Here is our wonderful canine (and human) masseuse with our Gus Bus. Spunky also tries to sneak in a little lovin's from Jennifer EVERY time she comes over! She has the Magic Touch!

Massage

Jennifer Kessler came over yesterday to give Gus his massage! It has been a while since we have seen her; we were a part of her Case Studies while she was getting her certification. Congratulations, Jennifer! Gus was doing fabulous last night, and even better today! I am glad, because the last few days had been really tough. He was snapping at people, and the other animals. He was miserable, and I was worried that we were getting close. I suppose we will see good and bad days, it is just scary on the bad days. For today though, he is being sociable, and we are happy for Gus. These are some pictures of Gus's "stash," toys Gus doesn't want Iggy to play with. He guards them, and when Iggy gets a hold of them, he will pick them up when he drops them to take them back to his spot! Also, enjoying an ear scritch from Andromeda.

Gus's Cancer Diet, and Meds

AM
1 Cup Grandma Lucy's Dehydrated Lamb Meal mixed with one cup decaffeinated green tea
1 Pound Raw Mix from Rocky Mountain Meats on 29th and Depew
2 TBSP Cottage Cheese
2 Heaping tsp Animal Essentials Herbal Multi Vitamin from The Green Paw
100mg Arteminisin
200mg Tramadol
100mg Vetprofen

Lunch
1 Large Spoonful Cottage Cheese
200mg Tramadol

PM
1 Cup Grandma Lucy's Dehydrated
2 TBSP Plain UNSWEETENED Yogurt
1 Cup Halo Spot's Stew Kibble
1 Heaping tsp Herbal Multi Vitamin
100mg Arteminisin
100mg Vetprofen

Late Snack
1 TBSP Yougurt
200mg Tramadol
1-2 Naturally sweetened Biscuits

1-2 UNCOOKED Bones per week, some lamb lungs occasionally, and other weird stuff we find for dogs.

I know dairy is hard on some pets, but I think it helps coat his stomach with his meds, honestly, he has way less gas then ever before, and regular stools on this diet.

www.thegoldengreenpaw.com

is where I got the Vitamins, the Grandma Lucy's, and various natural snacks.

Back of my mind...

Well, it has been over a month since diagnosis, and Gus is still Gus, which is good. I read Help Your Dog Fight Cancer, by Laurie Kaplan, MSC, and it was helpful. By the time I got the book, I had already done so much research, I was already doing what she wrote. I did learn a few things about arranging things after... Which is my topic tonight.

It always lurks in my mind, Gus has Cancer, he is going to die. I mean, the anticipation of coming home... Sometimes, he has not met me at the door, and my heart starts pounding... I have vivid dreams, and I wake up afraid. How are we going to do this? How will I cope, while helping my daughter cope, and Mikey? Our dynamics will change. The Hole. It is already growing. We can't go hang out at the dog park, no more hikes, no more wrestling. Sometimes, he just sleeps for hours, and I wonder if I should wake him. Is that for him, or me? He does have days that seem as if he is almost fading, but then Gus will jump up, and ask for a Tug-of-War game. It is weird, surreal. I am contemplating writing a book...